EAST ANGLIAN BLUES

… being an epitaph conceived on the train journey home from a shattered dream.

Not long ago, the other day,

I received a letter from UEA –

Said “Come and see us right away,

You can get a good degree here.”

Right you are, here I come…

So I bought my fare and off I went,

Thinking my money was very well spent.

Only later did l lament,

When the train broke down half way there.

I think the wheel fell off.  Or something…

Arriving there ten minutes late,

To see the place I could hardly wait;

But the concrete blocks and roofing slate

Were more than my poor eyes could bear.

Buildings…  Buildings?  You want people to live here?

A flunky showed us round the place,

And I very nearly liked the place

Till I met the student with the bearded face,

Tight jeans and curly long hair.

I could tell he was off.  He was reading MY poems!

He immediately set our minds at ease

By explaining that drugs were cheaper than cheese,

And by using these and paying your fees

You could  get a good degree there.

First glass.  Or something…

“Mind you, the place is falling down,

And nobody likes us in the town,”

(Our bearded companion said with a frown)

“But you can get some pretty good birds there.”

I think he meant women.  Whoa men!

Well, the time came round for us to leave,

But beard and hair said “Do not  grieve,

For if you get a few Grade C’s

You could spend the rest of your life here!”

Eternity.  Or longer.  Maybe three years.  If they don’t throw you out … 

Note: The words above are true; only my face has been changed, to protect the innocent.